All jumbled up
Hmm..k, although i screwed up my mid years terribly, i'm glad its over(:
Dunno how am i going to survive promos, not to even mention alevels..arrgh..
My emotions have been going through a roller coaster ride during these period of time..
No idea how to describe it in words cause theres just simply too much to be said, too much to be thought through and too much to feel..
It seems like theres so many many things i wanna say out loud, pen it down in words, but when i really get down to it, i realise i juz dunno where to begin from, or if saying it out will even help..
Time after time..i've grown to not voicing it out anymore..being accustomed to covering up everything with a smile or just simple laughing it off..
Then again, maybe i'm juz lazy to even it mention it already..
Narrating everything over again when theres just so much to say and not knowing wat to even say..
Hence, so much to say till, speechless! Ironic huh..
Its just a huge whirlpool of feelings and thoughts tt i doubt anyone will really have any gist of it..
The feeling of drifting apart from those who used to be the few most important ppl in my life and everyone doesnt feel good at all..
Will try my best to keep up with everything around me but sometimes it feels tt no matter how much i try, things will still not be the same anymore, and it makes me give up at times, which i know is not good at all..
Everyone's moving on, everything's changing..
We used to be so close, but it feels so distant already..so distant i dun even dare to initiate anything between us anymore..
I miss you..alot alot..
But i guess it doesnt matter to u anymore already..
I love u, but sometimes what u do just have to make me think this way, building the barrier between us..
Sometimes, i dun wanna be bothered bout the whole thing anymore but sometimes, when i seemed to see a glimmer of hope in this strained relationship of ours, u just have to ruin it..
I can sense that u know what is going on between us as well, but i guess nothing much can be done to really salvage it..
Though it hasnt became a really hopeless one, but maybe this is how much we can go..
Communication breakdown? Lack of communication rather..
Sometimes, i feel that we can be like so superr close with no boundaries between us, but sometimes i really dun understand what are u thinking or doing..temperamental?
Do u really understand me? Spare a thought for my feelings at times before raising your voice at me, even so, do it at appropriate times, not when i'm beat and tired, unhappy, annoyed, worse still, when i'm taking a perfectly good tone with u to start a conver nicely..
Not that i'm asking of too much freedom, i dun want to be totally let go off with no one controlling me, but sometimes, think, i'm a teenager, i wanna chill out at times too..
I know its unlike sec sch, and so, i wanna experience it all the more, cherish the opportunities and everything i have around me, and not coming to regret later on..
Have some faith and trust in me please, i know my limits, i know when i should play and when i should study..
thats all i can ask for i guess, not more, but juz a little more, a abit more will do..
Anyways, i used to make it a point to blog about every so called 'major' events like outings and everything and posting up all the photos, but i realised i'm just too lazy to keep it up anymore..blogging has become a chore at times cause i've to start racking my brains to recall everything and how to put everything out nicely in words..thus..i'll try my best to keep this blog alive hehe
Have to attend some wedding overseas in a week's time and i dun even have anything to wear!!
Havent been shopping for like half a year already!! oh man!! hahas
And tt wedding is going to cost me 3 hours of pw, 2 hours of physics lecture, 2 hours of maths lecture, guitar practise and the GCE meeting which i hope i can rush to, plus waste of time, plus annoying attitude from CT..crap..and guess wat, i'm like so superrr lucky enough to get into the pw group being the only girl..plus plus, i'm not exactly keen on the idea of going back and "bond" with them..plus plus many many things..
Nvm, am not going to care so much already..will try to take one step at a time! heh
K, i didnt leave out anything already right?
Hmm..ohyea! IP man's niceee!! hehe
I wanna watch lots of movies and go shopping so badly right now!!!!~~
Nights!~
How am i supposed to feel in this whirlpool? What am i supposed to do exactly?
